Those were the words I was dreading to hear. Barbara would wake up multiple times a night to go to the bathroom and I'd always wake up hoping that she wouldn't say those words. Not because I didn't want Connor to show up, but more because it signified the end of one era and the beginning of a new one. One that we had no clue what we're doing, but were going to be responsible for this little life and to ensure we gave him the best life that possibly could provide him. It meant we'd transition to a life of spontaneity, to one of endless nights of trying to get the little one to go to sleep.
The morning after we put the tree up, Barbara woke up around 5 AM and said "Bryant, I think my water broke." I woke up asking if she was sure and she described what had come out of her (gross) and I knew it was time. She called the hospital to verify and because she wasn't having any contractions they asked her to wait an hour to see if she was still leaking. As we waiting, I got up and started cleaning the house. For some reason the only thought that ran through my mind was "Barbara will hate seeing a messy house when she comes home from the hospital." So I did all of our dishes, I took out the trash, and put out the bins knowing that we'd be in the hospital for a couple days and if I didn't put out the bins, we'd miss a week of trash day. After the hour passed, Barbara called the nurse again and verified she was still leaking. They essentially said since she wasn't having contractions, we could take our time getting ready and just to get to the hospital some time that morning. After hearing that, I started to relax a bit, made some coffee and I ended up playing with my newest toys - Xbox One and PS4. I played a few games of Madden and a little Assasin's Creed while Barbara took a shower and ate some breakfast. Once she was all done, we ended up packing the car and headed out to the hospital.
The car ride was a little bit of a blur. Reality started to sync in that we were about to enter the hospital as just husband and wife and that we'd be leaving as parents. There was a lot of excitement, anxiety, and a thousand thoughts in my head on what this whole experience would be like.
We got to the hospital around 11AM, checked in and then went to our room which was already all set up and prepped. Since Barbara was still not having any contractions, they ended up giving her a drug called petocin to help speed up the process. The way the drug worked was that every hour, Barbara's uterus would be dilated 1cm per hour until she reached 10cm. When we got there, she was only 1 cm dilated, so we were in for a long ride. Once she got the drug, she started to feel the contractions and the pains that went with them after roughly an hour or so. She got to 2.5 hours before she had me run out to the nurse to get an epidural. Barbara loves to tell folks about how she's a light weight when it comes to pain and she contrasts this with her best friend Michelle, who lasted 20 hours in labor before she needed an epidural. So a nice Japanese man comes in, tells us he's the anesthesiologist, and starts prepping Barbara for the meds. I didn't watch the needle go in because I hate needles, but I gave her my hand and could tell there was some pain based on how she was squeezing my hand. The irony of it all was that the anesthetic needle was the worst pain she felt all day. Well, actually, she ended up having 2-3 IV needles poked in her because the nurse had messed up the first time.
Once the epidural was in, we were both living on "easy street" for the next 6-7 hours. We killed some time by catching up on episodes of Bones & Castle. Barbara also got a small nap in while, I just lied in the dark, trying to get some sleep. The combination of me being a light sleeper and room being so noisy with all the machines running in the background + just the anxiety of being a father in less then 24 hours had my mind just completely racing. "What will he look like? Will he like me? I wonder if he'll have my attitude or Barbara's?" - things like that would creep in my mind.
As the time passed on, the nurse comes in around 8:15PM and says we're going to prep Barbara to push. I had zero plans on watching any part of that birth because blood just creeps me out, but the nurse asked if I can hold one of her legs up while she pushed and just felt like it'd the wrong move to say no. Auntie Michelle showed up around that time and was in charge of holding Barbara's neck up and also to give some words of encouragement. The pushing started around 8:45 PM and it was just insane to watch how much work it was for Barbara. Every 2 minutes, Barbara would have to push as hard as she could for 10 secs, take a deep breath and push even harder for another 10, and take one more deep breath and push as hard as she could. I was watching her in pure awe and amazement on how she was able to dig deep to keep this up. In between pushes, we'd have some pretty casual conversations with the nurses who were fantastic at keeping things light. One time I ended up yawning and of course Barbara calls me out and says "Is this boring you?" This pushing and pausing would keep going for roughly an hour or so. They've now given Barbara an oxygen mask to catch her breath and they've now called in the doctor to help deliver. Barbara's normal OBGYN was off that weekend, so Dr. Dang, her back up came in. She was super nice and soft spoken and was definitely a calming presence in the delivery room.
The part that I didn't totally realize is that the hospital doesn't call the doctor in until the last possible minute OR because there are complications. There was a little bit of both for our little guy - the umbilical cord got stuck around him which was slowing down his breathing, so it was key for Barbara to push him out soon or they'd probably have to resort to surgery.
Around that time, I could start seeing Connor's head and once I saw that it was like I couldn't take my eyes off of him. I couldn't believe that I had ever thought that I wasn't going to watch this miracle entering our world. Honestly it was the most amazing thing that I had ever seen. By the time the doctor showed up, they had put Barbara's legs in stirrups and had moved me to be closer to Barbara's head and to hold her hand. As the last pushes came out, I could see this little face appear. He indeed had the umbilical cord around his neck, which the doctor promptly cut to break him loose. After his shoulders came up, he just slid right out into the doctor's arms.
At 10:40PM on November 30th, 2013 - the most beautiful little guy entered our world. They laid Connor on Barbara and immediate tears came from her, Michelle, and myself. We all knew what a struggle it was to even get to this point and there was even a point in time where we lost hope that we could even have a kid, but all of that was forgotten in that moment, because it was truly pure bliss. Connor let out his (now signature) soft cry and let us know he was breathing. My initial thought was "Man he looks a lot like Barbara!" and that I couldn't wait to hold him. They picked him up and started cleaning him off and weighing him. He came in at 19 inches long and 7 lbs even.
As things calmed down a bit, they had me hold him while they cleaned/stitched Barbara up. I called our families to let them know that he arrived - all with different reactions. My dad and mom were both kind of calm, but could tell they were happy. Uncle James was thrilled and excited, but had to focus on his date. Bob's Mom and Dad were dancing in their rooms. They moved us into our recovery room where we started our first night as parents and truly learned what life will be like with no sleep.
After the whole experience, I learned 2 important things:
1. Barbara is an absolute trooper. Pregnancy and labor was not easy, but Barbara did a great job in making it look easy.
2. Being a father is one of the most special experiences that I've ever had in my life.
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| First Family Photo |
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| Connor opening his eyes |
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| Showing his signature pout |
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| Really looks a lot like Barbara here |
